Article – Forgiveness and Repentance
The paradoxic about forgiveness is that it is less about the one being forgiven and more about liberating the self. The great Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi had said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiv
The paradoxic about forgiveness is that it is less about the one being forgiven and more about liberating the self. The great Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi had said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Forgiveness is one of the basic preconditions for peaceful living.
Being wronged by another puts us in a position of power – it gives us the choice of whether to punish or forgive. Choosing to punish gives in to our baser instincts and emotions, but forgiveness requires restraint and reflection from a more conscious perspective of the world and the nature of relationships. It accommodates the other. It helps you understand that everyone has a back story that makes them behave in ways that may not be ideal.You forgive when you feel secure in yourself and empathy toward the other person.
Many religious scriptures urge us to forgive even our enemies who have wronged us. Forgiveness is an expression of true love as it entails replacing ill will with good will toward the other person.
Just as forgiveness is necessary for healing relationships with others, repentance is necessary for healing the relationship we have with our inner selves. Repentance requires self-forgiveness. Life is complicated and everyone makes mistakes, has regrets. The past cannot be changed, but the future can, with the right balance of repentance and forgiveness. In fact, with healthy repentance comes self-compassion and it also helps us to forgive others. Repentance also requires the destruction of the ego – an act of surrender which is prescribed by most faiths to get closer to the divine.
The Jain prophet Mahavira, in fact, said that we must forgive ourselves first. Separate from the secular Global Forgiveness Day in June, Jains celebrate their own World Forgiveness Day early in September this year. The most important annual holy festival for Jains, called Paryushana (“abiding” or “coming together”), ends with the celebration of Samvatsari or Kshamavani. On this day, Jains seek forgiveness from all life forms of the world whom they may have harmed knowingly or unknowingly and greet their friends and relatives with Michchhāmi Dukkaḍaṃ, which means “If I have offended you in any way, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought, word or action, then I seek your forgiveness.”
Hindus have a similar custom. During the Holi festivals, people who have not talked to each other for the whole year are expected to embrace and forgive each other. This happened to me and my friend once. I got angry, and even though I wanted to forgive him, my ego prevented me from patching things up at the time. But the day of Holi provided me with the perfect opportunity to finally do so, and we became even closer friends as a result.
Repentance (teshuvah) in Judaism involves a concentrated effort to reflect upon one’s deeds and make amends by sincerely apologizing to those whom one has wronged. Repentance is the primary focus of one of the holiest Jewish holidays, Yom Kippur, in which followers remember and atone for all sins committed in the past year.
In Christianity, forgiveness is a virtue and repentance is achieved through confessions to priests who are deemed to be Jesus Christ’s representatives. Jesus also commanded that people be quick to forgive each other for wrongdoings, as did most other prophets and saints. He remained committed to this principle, with his last words on the cross being, “forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.”